Thank you 79th Precinct for coming to our rescue with an army of cops! (Even though the squatter wasn’t in the house when you came)

So we called the cops last night at like 10:30pm. Coldest night of the year. Yay.

We didn’t go in to check and see if anyone was there. At this point, we didn’t know what the hell to expect. It was dark, it was late, and fuck if there were a bunch of people ready to fuck us up.

So we called 911 and explained the situation. They said they were sending someone right then.

And then two minutes later, a cop car rolled up!

What are you guys doing out here? She asks.

We called you guys, I said as respectfully as I could without freaking out.

You guys the owners?

Yes! Thank you for coming!

She asked what the backyard looked like, if anyone could jump over a fence. To get away I assume. We told her there was a big, high brick wall back there. She nodded okay.

Then five more cop cars rolled up.

They said there might be a lot of people in there, we heard one of them say to another.

At this point we hoped SOMEONE was in there.

We let them in through the front door and they streamed inside the house. They checked all the floors and started coming back out.

The first guy came up to us and said there’s a bed in there.

A man?? I said.

No, a bed.

Oh, whew. Scared me.

Yeah, there’s no one in there, just a bed and some stuff.

Oh. Okay. Thank you.

There are a few cops left in there. They will be out soon.

The cop who first rolled up came out and came up to us.

Did someone already talk to you? She asked.


Well, it looks like there’s nothing too crazy up there. You just have to board up the basement door. That’s your responsibility to keep it secure.

Got it, thanks. It was originally locked up but I guess they broke through that.

I remember this house, she said. When did you guys buy it?

Just this last August. We’ve had delays on the renovations.

There used to be a bunch of trash in front of it right?

Yeah, we cleaned all that out.

I remember getting a call once of a guy peeing in the front yard.

Oh geez, we laughed.

Yeah, I actually looked up how much the owner paid for the house – you know you can look that up right? – and I came by and tried to make him feel bad for peeing on someone’s house. I said, you know someone paid such and such amount for this house, when you pay that much for something, you won’t want someone just peeing on it!

We laughed. That’s awesome. We told her we were told the history of the house, about the needles and the prostitution, so we didnt want to go in alone at night without calling them first.

Listen, there was no drug paraphernalia up there. Just some stuff. It was actually really neat, bed made and everything.

Oh, okay. So probably not anyone dangerous up there?

No, probably not. Just board up the door as soon as possible, get all the stuff out, and if you see someone in there, call us immediately. Don’t even tell them you’re the owners because then they know they’re busted. If you say what are you doing here they might say what are you doing here. Just call us right away. They are less likely to run off if they don’t know who caught them.

Ah makes sense. Good to know. Thanks again.

I took off my glove to shake her hand. We waved thanks to the other officers and walked away.

Today our contractor put up 2×4’s on the basement door and the only thing left in the house was the mattress. Tomorrow the siding guy is supposed to actually start and well, I’m not holding my breath.

In any case, the police officers were awesome and so professional and respectful.

And they didn’t seem even a little annoyed that all of them came out there only to find nothing.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s