The day I learned an angry email works better than a nice one

About a month ago, we needed a HUD report redone yet again because of new information we discovered (a HUD by the way is a document the short sale bank needs to see to get an idea of the sale price and the amount of settlement charges they will need to pay that will come out of the sale price, very big deal to get right, it turns out, and can only be done by the sellers attorney).

Of course, the seller’s attorney did not say a peep about when it was going to get done (he had already complained to my attorney that they had to redo the HUD SO many times already), despite all the calls placed to his office. So, after being copied on an email to him, I wrote back:

My apologies if I am out of line in reaching out to you. I just wanted to let you know that I really, really want this house and I am doing everything I can to make this process as smooth as possible on both ends.

If you could please, please, please set up a call to speak with the seller’s bank as soon as possible, I would be so grateful. We are working really hard on the other side to make sure we have everything ready to close on the house as soon as the short sale is approved.

If the seller’s bank won’t accept the seller’s concession or will only accept part of it, despite your explanation to them, please know that we are prepared to take less than the full concession if needed. I wish I could draw up all these HUD’s for you – I know it’s been frustrating to have gone through so many, but I feel like we are in the home stretch here.

I know we don’t have any control over the seller’s bank on how quickly they get back to us or what their requirements are, but what we do have control over is how quickly we respond to them. I would love to have us shaking hands in early July over the closing table if at all possible and I think we can do it if we all stay on top of it.

Thanks for all your help so far and hopefully we can get this done in the next few weeks.

Which I thought was a very heartfelt, pour-your-soul-out type of thing.

No response.

For five days.

It was only after constant prodding from both the agent’s assistant and my attorney that he finally got it done.

Fast forward to two weeks ago when we are trying to set up the date for the closing. After examining everyone’s vacation schedules, we determined that the only days everyone would be available by the short sale deadline were August 8 or 9. We confirm everyone for the 8th.

The next week, we receive an email from the sellers attorneys assistant saying if we can close this week that would be ideal.

I write back and say I don’t think that can happen.

She writes back and says the sellers attorney had to push back his vacation one week so he would not be back until August 12.




In that instant, this attorney shut out the only two day window we had to close.

I immediately called my loan officer. Work phone – straight to voicemail. Cell phone – off. Email – inbox full.

Then I email the back up to the underwriter – out of office on. I call him and leave a very frantic message.

I email my attorney and ask if she is free to close on Friday.

Then I call the other phone number on the loan officers out of office and someone finally picks up.

He says he will relay my message immediately.

Back up underwriter calls me back. I ask if we can close by Friday and he says it’s impossible. If the file was finished that day it would take three days to be fully reviewed.

I get an email from my loan officer saying he thinks it will be impossible while I’m on the phone with the underwriter.

I hang up with the underwriter and call my loan officer. He tells me the same thing he told me in the email but says he will try.

I call the sellers agents assistant and ask her if she can do anything. She said she tried to call already and no one will give her a straight answer.

I say, get his assistant on the phone.

She conferences her in and I don’t even register what I’m saying, just a jumble of thoughts that culminates into a curse word and a very quick I’m sorry. She cuts me off and says tell my attorney to call the sellers attorney, she will not stand for being spoken to like that.

I get a call from my attorneys office after I hang up. My attorneys assistant tells me my attorney is not available to close that day.

I send a very sad email to my loan officer and tell him to forget it – my attorney can’t close on Friday anyway.

I run downstairs and call my boyfriend and start crying. Ugly crying. In my lobby at work. Oh it’s bad.

Why would he do this to us? Whhhyyy ? Can he be a bigger asshole? He knows, he KNOWS this is the only day we can close. What are we going to do? What are we going to do?

I’m losing my ability to think straight now. I can only speak in curse words.

While I am on the phone with him, I tell him to wait. I am going to send an email right now. He tries to keep talking as I put him on speaker and tell him to wait. Silence on the other end as I write:

Here is what needs to happen:

1. The seller’s attorney needs to come back from his vacation by August 9. He has been aware from the beginning that the only days everyone is available to close is August 8 and August 9.

2. Someone else needs to go in his place on August 8.

Pick one and let me know.

I read it back to my boyfriend as I’m hitting send. My stomach flips over as soon as the phone confirms it’s sent. That’s it. I really did it this time. I curse out his assistant. I’m practically barking orders at him via email and copy every person ever who is involved. He is going to be so pissed when he sees this. I am imagining him throwing his hands in the air and shredding my file. He is never going to let me close on this house.

I’m going back upstairs, I say. I have to go back to work.

I email my attorney at the end of the day and say I would really appreciate a call from her. She calls back within the hour.

I didn’t want to call you until I knew for sure, she starts off. But they are working on finding someone to go in the seller’s attorney’s place right now. They haven’t made any guarantees, but we all got your email and you said to pick one or the other and we both know he didn’t want to pick the other one, so they are finding someone else to go. I’ve told my assistant to call them back on Friday if we don’t hear from them.

Oh. Okay. Wow. Thanks.

Yeah, and his assistant was going on about how you were really rude and starting cursing at her or something…

I feel my face getting hot. Yeah, sorry about that.

That’s okay, I completely understand where you were coming from. She kind of laughs a little.

Friday morning I get the confirmation email that they’ve found someone to go to the closing on August 8. That’s right folks. Sometimes e-yelling at a grown man totally works.

Now fingers crossed on getting this loan file cleared in the next two weeks. Not out of the woods yet.


2 thoughts on “The day I learned an angry email works better than a nice one

  1. It’s incredible to read this post, having lived the EXACT same experience last summer. Unfortunately for us, the most incompetent character in our 203K process was our own mortgage lender, and as such, he was the recipient of many an angry email. Glad you guys stuck it out, I’m sure you’ve already found that it’s so worth it in the end!

    • Isn’t is amazing how many people not only don’t care about their jobs, but are so incredibly incompetent at things where they literally have hundreds of thousands of dollars hanging in the balance? Congrats on getting through your 203k loan and getting through the BS! Sometimes we just have to be mean 🙂

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